You (and I) are beloved by God.
A meditation for the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.
January is a month of renewal, of fresh starts, of making (and often breaking) resolutions. The Church, in its wisdom, has chosen this time of the year to place before us the story of Jesus’ baptism, the great Theophany in which God the Father sent the Spirit to rest upon Jesus, affirming his divine identity as the Beloved Son:
It happened in those days that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized in the Jordan by John. On coming up out of the water he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit, like a dove, descending upon him. And a voice came from the heavens, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”
(Mark 1:9-11)
This great feast of the Baptism of the Lord grants us all the opportunity to ponder anew the startling truth that our own baptisms have made us sharers, in a mysterious way, in Christ’s identity as the “Beloved.”
And yet, all too often my own consciousness of this sacred identity as God’s beloved son is undermined by a host of competing voices—the voices of the world, of advertising and the media, or the inner voices of my own doubts and fears. This negative self-talk can be the most cruel of all—You are not good enough. You are worthless. You are a loser. You have to prove yourself worthy of being loved. Listening to these lies of self-rejection is a trap that I have fallen into many times.
In the book Spiritual Direction, Henri Nouwen wrote that “self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that declares we are loved. Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence.”
For years I tended to ignore this core truth—my identity as God’s beloved son—and tried to find fulfillment elsewhere. Whenever I asked myself the question, Who am I? my answers often reflected a false notion that I am what I do. (I am a writer. I am a podcaster. I am a children’s book author, etc.) I didn’t see the spiritual danger in attaching my identity to my work.
The more I chased temporal success, the more it often proved to be illusory or ephemeral, leaving me more anxious and restless. It was a recipe for discouragement and burnout. And yet I kept running around hoping to find that one thing, that one connection, that one job opportunity, that one professional accomplishment, that would change everything and soothe that ache in my heart. I could not seem to put a name on this ache and I only realized later that it was in fact my desire for unconditional love and acceptance. But such love cannot be found within this world or by the ways of this world.
The truth is, I don’t need to prove myself to God. I don’t need to convince him to love me by racking up an impressive list of accomplishments, awards, degrees, and titles. This is the way of the world. The Spirit of God reminded the prophet Isaiah of the vast, infinite difference between the ways of the world and the ways of God: “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways.” (Isaiah 55:8) In all my frenetic activity I could not think with God’s thoughts. I could not hear the voice of God saying, “You are my beloved.”
It has been in the discipline of daily prayer, particularly in the Liturgy of the Hours, that I have finally begun to heed God’s gentle promptings to draw closer to him, and listen to his reminders that I am loved, no matter what my material circumstances. I understand now why Nouwen wrote that “prayer is listening with obedience—listening with careful attention.” By praying slowly and deliberately the psalms and canticles of the Divine Office, I can sometimes perceive more clearly God’s “still small voice” (cf. 1 Kings 19:12) breaking through the cacophony of my anxieties and insecurities. And true listening means true obedience; it means living what the Lord has revealed.
That is the resolution I want to make this year—to live the identity that God has revealed, to listen prayerfully to the voice of the Father saying, “You are my Beloved.” Embracing this God-given identity means liberation from all the lies of anxiety and self-rejection. Perhaps we should all take some time this month to meditate on the Baptism of the Lord, remembering that God loves each and every one of us and “to those who did accept [Christ] he gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in his name.” (John 1:12)
Amen!! This reflection is SO powerful, Thomas. 🙌🏻 I am totally dovetailing on your reflection for my own!
This is a message that everyone needs, but in my full-time work, I see that men really need to hear this. Men in our society absorb all those false measuring sticks of identity that leave them feeling depressed and defeated when their situations in life change. I guess what I'm saying is, keep speaking this truth!