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Karina Fabian's avatar

"atypically woo-woo" should be a technical term!

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

It should!! :)

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Shannon Davies's avatar

Emily Metzger had me from the jump. There’s something so instantly compelling about her voice—it’s dry, weary, sharp-edged, but threaded with that quiet strength of someone who’s seen too much and survived it anyway. Her internal monologue walks this beautiful line between bitterness and biting humor, and it never feels performative. We feel her hauntedness (is that a word?) without you ever needing to spell it out. It’s deeply human and deeply real. The emotional truth of a soldier living with PTSD, reassignment, and walking into the unknown again feels grounded and unforced. Metzger isn’t playing the trauma card, she just is someone who’s lived it, and that restraint makes her all the more powerful. She's the kind of protagonist readers trust. The arrival sequence is especially vivid. I could feel the chop of the blades, see the dust, and sense that creeping isolation as Metzger touches down in this strange new place. The military details feel authentic without trying too hard. And once we reach the Medicine Wheel? Wow. That scene hums with slow-building dread. The stone circle is described in such a haunting, textured way. It chills in all the right ways. And that whispered voice? “Release them.” Literal goosebumps.

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

Dear Shannon: Thank you so much for this wonderful feedback! I'm humbled by your effusive praise. Honestly, I must give full credit to my good friend Paul Leone for creating the Emily Metzger character and for laying the groundwork that I simply built upon. Check out Paul's book "The Third Crown" for the original Emily Metzger adventure "Operation White Phantom." Paul very graciously allowed me to play with his character and the setting. It was a lot of fun and I'm thrilled that I was able to capture Emily's voice in such a vivid way.

Thank you again, Shannon, for your wonderful feedback. It really made my day. I hope you enjoy the rest of the novella.

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Father Roderick's avatar

Great start, intrigued already! I like the combination of a military setting and an ancient site. Quite a bit of foreboding already. And the ambiguity of the dizziness: is it due to her medical issues, or is there something else going on...

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

So glad you enjoyed this! Yes, I had fun playing with the contrast between down-to-earth military characters and spooky paranormal events. And I love working those ambiguous moments into my stories: was that a "normal" headache or was Metzger experiencing a kind of sixth sense overload? I want the readers to judge that for themselves. But I do work in some more clues later.

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Dominic de Souza's avatar

this is very fun :) I'm getting hints that someone has done their Graham Hancock homework? It promises to be fun!

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Emerald City Ghosts's avatar

Late to the party, but this looks really good!

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

Welcome! And thank you so much for reading.

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Kyle Metz's avatar

Something about the name "Metzger" sounds good to me... can't quite put my finger on it...

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JM Kraemer/Lego Church Project's avatar

Very fun read so far.

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Evan Staehle's avatar

Great job with this Thomas! I’m intrigued

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

Thank you so much!

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S. L. Linton's avatar

Oh, I love it. I can't wait to read more!

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Thomas Salerno's avatar

Thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)

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